Perfection

It has been so long since I have written a post.  Just felt the need to take a break.  Felt I was getting stale and wasn’t into writing.  Quite frankly, felt I had lost the desire or love or need or whatever it is when you are afraid it’s just not good enough.

I have the problem a lot in my professional and personal life.  Call it what you will it can be maddening or exhilarating depending on how you look at it.  Even now as I try to write what I feel I am having a hard time putting into words what my feelings are saying.  The conversation never seems to stop in my head.

Yes I have tried meditation numerous times and continue to believe it will help quiet the voices.  God knows I’ve practiced enough yoga in the 47 years since I first threw down the mat.  I want to be patient, kind and positive in my thoughts.  But the search for perfection seeps in and I feel somewhat lost.  Not in a I want to jump off a bridge lost but in a I feel blue lost.  It’s not all the time and comes and goes.  I have times of sheer joy in just being healthy and alive but there are those moments or even days where I wish I was clever enough to write the next great American novel.

You would think with all of the electronic help we have now a days I would be able to google an answer in how to reach perfection.  In work. In life. In love.  But alas it’s just a computer and doesn’t have the capacity to be human.  I am the only one to have that capacity and should revel in the fact that I am able to have the luxury.  Regardless of how imperfect it can be at times.  Being human can be perfect.

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