The meaning of the gut when used as a noun is in reference to a feeling or reaction based on an instinctive emotional response rather than considered thought. Having a monkey mind I have many considered thoughts.
The Gut used as a verb is when it causes (someone) to feel extremely upset or disappointed. It guts me to think they were not being truthful.
I wanted to believe that the situation couldn’t or wouldn’t happen but my gut told me otherwise. It also pertains to having a gut feeling about a person. I have a bad habit of thinking that I am overreacting or being too sensitive or just not wanting to believe that my gut is telling me the truth.
My fear many times keeps me from trusting my gut. Because sometimes the truth, not my truth, but the truth is a hard pill to swallow. I don’t want to think the worse but sometimes that’s just the way it is. And I am now trying to really look at THE truth regardless of how hurtful it can be to me.
When I don’t feel good about myself it’s usually because I have to deal with the outcome of not going with my gut. I have to say in all these years my intuition (which I think is a good synonym) has not let me down. I’ve been the one who hasn’t been strong enough to face what the real deal is and not my idea of what I would like it to be.
My career always tests whether or not I am listening to what my inner voice is saying. Making the right decision for what is best for my own welfare and not making the decision for others. I did that a lot when I had to take care of my family even though there were times when I didn’t want to put myself in an awkward position.
Co-dependency challenged my gut many times and I usually listened to the voice that told me to buck up and be a team player even when it wasn’t for my best interest. Don’t get me wrong. There were decisions I made which helped me as well but I paid the price on the back end.
Going into the situation seemed to be “not so bad” (what we tell ourselves when we know our gut is saying NO!) and in the end wasn’t the right direction.
What not going with my gut has taught me is to learn from my mistakes and try not to make the same ones again. I guess what it comes down to is trusting yourself and…age. Yep, never thought I would go there but chalking up years on this earth has helped me to step back, listen and let things sit. Patience. Trust. Stillness. Still a work in progress. Hopefully, I have lots of years to practice.
What does my gut tell me to do now? Write, sculpt, sing, paint, listen, laugh, cry and just trust whatever comes up. To not let fear dictate what is in my head but to embrace what’s in my gut…and in my heart.