We are having our house painted. It’s been years since we did so I don’t remember the specifics I needed to know to have the work done. I tell myself, being a makeup artist, I am very good with picking color. But then again a house is much bigger than a face. Last time I was dead on but this time I wanted something different. Something more alive. Something not like other homes I have seen in the neighborhood. No, I didn’t go fire engine red but I did go a tad out of my comfort zone.
Color is a very strong word in so many ways. It can describe a canvas, a mood, an emotion or well, a color. We know all of the obvious. Red for anger, green for envy or jealous, black for death but also for chic, yellow for sunny and happy and white for pure. But then there are the hundreds of shades in between which makes choices tricky. More grey can change the color of green completely.
That’s where my house comes into view. I thought that small chip I was choosing was more grey but in fact I chose something more dynamic. Brighter and high reflective. Not what I was looking for in my house. The green I thought was grey green was more, well, sage. Sage green. Lost sleep over whether I had wasted my money painting the house the wrong color.
Then I realized that in my life I am trying to be brighter and more reflective. I can’t say I’m trying to be more dynamic. That would be absurd and silly in thinking that my choice of a house color is reflecting how I want to live my life. Is that possible? That deep down I want to break from the safe and tried? Could it be as simple but as profound as a house color?
As I sit here smiling at the sheer absurdity of it all I actually wonder if this is a shift in where I have been for awhile. How I’ve felt incredibly stuck and uncreative. Boring. Complacent. Not wanting to move from where I sit. Having a hard time finding excitement in my work and my life. It has seemed so predictable. It has been safe. And in order to find happiness one must find the uncertainty they are comfortable with to move ahead and make their life exciting. Yep, put more color in their life. In my life.
So as I listen to Breathe sung by Alexi Murdoch I need to not forget to breathe. Take that breath and jump in. The blueness of the water, the lush green of the trees, the white purity of the clouds and the red of the sunset will suit me just fine.