I got a speeding ticket recently and it really brought up a lot of things other than the huge price tag. The ticket, processing fee for traffic school and traffic school will reach close to $500.00. Wow, that’s quite a chunk of change for a brief moment of checking out. Well, if I’m going to being totally honest, it’s really about how I am moving right now in my life.
Being on a project that has long hours and a tremendous amount of responsibility tends to make you check out a lot when it comes to day to day living. Spending fourteen to sixteen hours a day can be exhausting on any level but when it entails lots of driving, working outside in the desert and never letting your brain rest (even when sleeping!) that can cause mental check out. And that can come at a price.
Not to say that I haven’t put myself in this position many times before but now I am genuinely trying to see the lesson in all of it. I was late, my mind was thinking about being at work and I was not paying attention. Doesn’t matter that many other people next to me were doing the same speed. I was the one chosen and I have to believe, chosen for a reason. Even if the policeman giving me the citation wasn’t aware of what all of this ticket entailed, I had to fess up that I was wrong and needed to take notice in where I was and what I am doing right then.
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle goes into depth of how important it is to stay in the now. Someone once said, when asked what was one of the biggest mistakes they made in their life, they summed it up in one sentence. “I didn’t pay attention.” Short and sweet.
I didn’t pay attention. I was not in the moment to be aware of my actions and paid the consequences. How many times could I apply that to so many things in my life? Things that I’ve said. Ways I have treated people when I wasn’t feeling my best. Blame I put on others because I didn’t want to own up to the fact that I was afraid. Or just not being presence. Or wishing I was somewhere else instead of dealing with where I was right now. Difficult to face on any level but more and more I am realizing it is vital for my awareness and actions.
So I’ll go to school to pay my dues. Love school but not this one. Because with each question it will be a reminder of what I wasn’t doing at the time. I know my lesson learned is to stay in the moment and remember I am the one responsible for being right where I am. Stay in the moment and pay attention. Embrace what is happening at the moment and learn from it. Slow down.